June 2013
30 posts
Happy Father’s Day to the father of my unborn child who left me. You’re a dick and I’m starting to really fucking hate your guts, but I wouldn’t have mind having your child. Or having you here. I almost miss you, but no. Just Happy Father’s Day.
This kid is too perfect. I’m scared. I should just leave. .-.
Alright. This is officially going to fast for me. Now I’m getting scared again.
I don’t like what I just did…
Yesterday, my ex fucking tried to talk to me again >.> excuse my French but FUCK YOU, MA NIGGA. NO!! Ughh >____> -sigh- he fucked me up. I’ve legit been terrified to open up to this (amazing) kid because of what this guy did to me. I’m fucking hurt. It hurts. I hurt. He hurt me. I want to open up to this kid. I really do. But my ex called me annoying and clingy and shit like that WHILE we were 2 years into the relationship. Ouch. No. You don’t do that to someone. Now this new, amazing guy is trying to get in there and I can’t because I’m on defense mode. He tells me he misses me and I totally go into shock. I can’t do this anymore.
I need to let this go.
Let that dickhead go.
I want to love again.
Really love.
Something, I’m guessing, never was enough for him. But it will be for someone
Even if the person is me.
I am enough.
I deserve to be happy.
I deserve to love.
I like my new guy better than my old guy.
Happiness > Familiarity
I. Am. Happy.
Idk. I’ve always been pretty insecure about myself. :x the whole cutting thing started when I was 11 and its just been bad. But I’ve become strong and proud and I wouldn’t change myself for anything now. I’m starting to love myself. He helped me do that, actually. I figured “if someone who claimed to love me for 2 years isn’t going to love me, then I don’t need anyone to tell me what and/or how I’m going to be. I love myself” and, poof, confidence :) yay.
Lately, most of the time, I’ve been feeling like I’m WAYYYY better off and happier without him. It feels good. I hope it stocks. I’m really happy.
If this kid and I are still talking the way we are talking and nothing gets in the way nor goes wrong, I am going to have sex with him in 4 months.
4 months. I swear. He sorta deserves it if he can handle this until then.
I’ll go to bed tasting the sweet taste of his lips and the blunts while he sleeps with the satisfaction of being able to say he’s winning me over
Maybe I should stop getting my hopes up with this kid. He’s too perfect. I don’t know. Something here scares me…
wow i like you so much my chest is on fire
This kid is so sweet that I think that if he kisses me tomorrow I should go get checked for diabetes.
Ughhh. He gives me butterflies
I don’t know what I expect to happen with this kid, but, since I’m new to dating again and he is one of my really good friends that could possibly be a really good match for me, I want to try this .
May 2013
114 posts
So, about 2 weeks ago one of my good friends admitted to me that he liked me. I mean, we’re good friends. I tell him things and we have nice conversations, but I’ve always had a thing for him. Anyways, so, I have no idea what I’m doing. I mean, 2 days ago I was with my ex fighting and crying and having sex and right now, I feel nothing. As if those feelings disappeared. This is too fast. But he makes me feel really nice. I like it.
I have no idea what I’m doing anymore..
if we talk and we get really close and stuff and then for like a while afterwards I don’t make much of an effort to talk to you
I’m really sorry
That’s just how I function and its not because I don’t like you anymore or I don’t think about you
I just forget a lot and want to be alone and I get wrapped up in myself and my life and I get distracted so I’m really sorry
TO: anyone who has ever been my friend ever
“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than to say ‘My heart is broken.’”
—C. S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain (via likeafieldmouse)
“She never utters a sound even when she’s crying, and that makes me a little sad. Doesn’t seem right. When you cry, people should hear you. The world should stop.”
—Libba Bray, Going Bovine (via charliebronsons)
growing up means realizing a lot of your old friends are assholes
I’m over it.
Fuck it.
FUCK IT.
I need to grow up.
I NEED to grow up.
I NEED TO GROW UP.
Fuck everything.
I NEED…
to be happy.
I am beautiful. I am different, and I am spectacular.
I don’t care how long it takes, but I WILL prove that to myself and I WILL be more than satisfied with who I am.
Its time to be a big girl. I need to grow up.
I always get attached to everyone and no one gets attached to me so I always just feel dumb
“Addiction is tricky. For example: a man who quit smoking for 11 years spent 15 seconds in an elevator with a man smoking a cigarette. He gave in.
What I’m trying to say is I think I love you again.” —Unknown (via perfect)
What I’m trying to say is I think I love you again.” —Unknown (via perfect)
Life is unfair. You put someone first who puts you second. You study your ass off for a final only to get a C. You give 110% to someone in a relationship who only gives 40%. You’re there for a best friend at 3:00am and the next day they don’t pick up their phone. It seems like you’re giving everyone everything and they’re just walking away with it.
holy shit this made me cry
