Excuse me while I continue wallowing in self-pity and dying internally.
On Friday, me and my ex had a heart-to-heart. To be honest, although he wont admit it, I feel like if I wasn’t such a fuck up in the relationship, he would’ve been just as destroyed as I was when I lost the baby. I really think he would’ve.
I love you. I will always love you. I’m sorry for being such a fuck up. I hate myself more than you could ever know. I’m sorry. I love you. Goodnight.
Why does it hurt so much? I mean, I still see him, I still talk to him and we still do it. I mean, it shouldn’t hurts this much. God fucking dammit I hate this so fucking much. God, I was so fucking blind to my own mistakes and faults. I did it. I destroyed him and ruined our relationship. God fucking dammit. I fucking hate myself so fucking much. I want to die. I want to die sooo fucking bad.